Herro Again!

April 10, 2009

Well look who has put in an appearance.

Kim Jong-Il

Kim Jong-Il

Not so long ago, I did of course say this

Kim Jong-Il is dead. He died a few months ago, probably from a massive stroke, and this event is just a move by the military regime to attempt to offset the confusion caused by the sudden departure of ‘The Dear Leader’. Kim hasn’t been seen in public for months now and there have been many rumours surrounding his alleged poor health. The North Korean regime, however, insists that he is still alive and in complete control of the country and they’ve released some highly dubious pictures to prove it. I’m not buying it though. I hereby announce that I am officially behind the “Kim Jong-Il is dead” rumours. Now it’s all just a matter of waiting to see what happens next.

In order to counteract the bitter disappointment and frustration I feel at the little fellow’s seeming return to public life I’m going to have to stick to my guns and simply refuse to believe it’s actually him. He’s a ringer! That little dude there is a professional fucking ringer. He’s probably one of a dozen employed by the DPRK to hoodwink the North Korean people and the rest of the world.

Measure his head. It’s the only way to be sure. A few years ago I remember hearing about some expert that was analyzing TV images of Saddam Hussein and using computer programs to measure the size and shape of the head. That shit can’t lie; it’s like a fingerprint, apparently.  Dr. Dieter Buhmann concluded that the late Joerg Haider (gay, fascist Austrian politician), when he flew to Baghdad to meet the Iraqi dictator, had unknowingly met with one of Saddam’s doubles.

Before and after. Image on the right - June 2008. Left - April 2009

Before and after. Right - June 2008, Left - April 2009

On the other hand, the Kim Jong-Il seen in these photographs doesn’t look good. Surely they would have provided a “fresh” ringer, as it were. Instead, this looks like the same wee guy from last year’s photographs albeit now enfeebled by a rumored stroke sometime in the latter half of 2008. The only way to answer this is to conclude that he is, in fact, the same wee guy and also a double. He is a double that was actually deployed by the North Korean regime years ago when their figurehead, the real Kim Jong-Il, actually died. This position is not quite as outlandish as one might think.


One comment

  1. mind you… he’s korean. they ALL look the same 😉

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