January 18, 2010

And, ‘lo, CNN has brought us some glorious news.

James Cameron’s completely immersive spectacle “Avatar” may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.

A common reaction to the above will be incredulous disgust. Frankly, I think it’s fucking brilliant. If I was James Cameron I’d be overjoyed at the idea that my technoporn epic had landed in the collective subconscious of the young and dumb like a giant psychic emo-bomb. Many filmmakers could spend their entire careers hoping to have their work affect people in that way and I imagine very few would foresee that a film like Avatar could pull it off.

On the fan forum site “Avatar Forums,” a topic thread entitled “Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible,”

A post by a user called Elequin expresses an almost obsessive relationship with the film.

“That’s all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about ‘Avatar.’ I guess that helps. It’s so hard I can’t force myself to think that it’s just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na’vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie,” Elequin posted.

A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site “Naviblue” that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “

Other fans have expressed feelings of disgust with the human race and disengagement with reality.

Ivar Hill posts to the “Avatar” forum page under the name Eltu. He wrote about his post-“Avatar” depression after he first saw the film earlier this month.

“When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed … gray. It was like my whole life, everything I’ve done and worked for, lost its meaning,” Hill wrote on the forum. “It just seems so … meaningless. I still don’t really see any reason to keep … doing things at all. I live in a dying world.”

In all honesty, I wrote this post as an alternative means of spending the energy that I was going to devote to logging in to the above forums and eagerly encouraging these people to kill themselves.* As callous and amorally flippant as that sounds, hear me out. What we have here, folks, are some standout candidates for future Darwin Awards. Were they to follow through on the suicidal yearnings that they’re teasing us all with above, they would end their own existential agony and greatly benefit the human species as a whole. Condition Win for everyone.

(*Remember kids, when cutting the wrists, it is better for one to go “down the road” rather than “across the street”.)



  1. Probably some people had the same reaction after “Heavy Metal” came out. LOL.

    David, have you actually seen Avatar? What did you think of it? Based on how Cameron-heavy your latest (80s) list is, coupled with your response to Bay’s vision of Transformers, I have to assume you would cum all over yourself watching Avatar. Maybe you’ll be re-working your first list (00’s) to fit it in?

  2. I went to see Avatar in 3D at Yongsan last week. I really enjoyed the experience (never done the 3D thing before) but found the movie to be as disappointing story-wise as the trailer had threatened. I just couldn’t be arsed writing anything about it here.

    As my 80s list indicates, I think Cameron gets a lifetime pass anyway. He put The Terminator, Aliens and The Abyss into this world and either of the first two films there alone would have earned him that pass.

  3. Avatar. Floaty mountains, ponytail-tree intercourse, shallow allegory, and the cyclical reminder of how dumb your own countrymen really are.

  4. Ha, yeah I noticed that there was a quasi-scientific explanation given for the Na’vi religious animism being “true” i.e. that the planet Pandora’s bio-sphere was a huge conscious mind, but they didn’t even try to explain the floating mountains.

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