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K-Pop Korner: Girls’ Generation (SNSD/소녀시대) – The Boys

November 23, 2011

November is almost done and I’ve failed spectacularly on the blogging front thus far. *Sigh* What say we mosey on down to the Korner here and see what we can see?

SNSD/소녀시대/Girl's Generation

Girls’ Generation (SNSD/소녀시대) aren’t fucking about. They’ve been kicking the shit out of the Japanese market, picking up Korean cultural awards from the prime minister, signing with Universal in order to target American and European audiences, playing to screaming fans in Paris, and pretty much shilling for everything from Domino’s pizza and fried chicken to Christian Dior and LG phones. As far as K-Pop is concerned, they’re the tip of the spear at the moment, and that’s due in no small part to their latest album release, ‘The Boys’, and the massive popularity of the eponymous lead single. My own investigative forays into Korean popular culture, i.e. asking a bunch of middle school girls what they’re into, confirm ‘The Boys’ as the indisputable favourite tune of the moment although, upon examination, this seems to be the result of an overwhelming promotional juggernaut that has browbeaten audiences into submission rather than the actual quality of the song itself.

The video is quite an overblown affair, opening with an extended slow motion intro of the girls walking in fake snow, walking amongst gently falling rose petals, one of them releasing a dove from her hand filmed with a bit of speed ramping (that slow-fast-slow thing Zack Snyder does in his action scenes), and all the while clad in elaborate dresses. The tune for this intro is promisingly electro and heavy but that soon stops abruptly as the video switches to the industry standard studio set for the group song and dance and the far more underwhelming, official song begins. My forensic, critical dissection of this pop product has been unexpectedly complicated by the fact that SNSD recorded two different versions of the song, a Korean language and English language version each with their own distinctly different lyrics. The English lyrics seem almost completely devoid of meaning beyond a repetitive and disposable “I’m great/I’m hot/I like boys” though this seems entirely fair for a Korean girl group, most of whom are singing in a second language (some of them were born and raised in the states). The original Korean version is the more intriguing of the two, however, and after submitting it to thoughtful and objective analysis; I have surmised that it is an impassioned entreaty to engage in group sex with multiple male partners. Clearly, the girls are essentially demanding that the boys be brought out to run a train on them. Now, there are nine women in this group and my research suggests at least three men per woman are required for a train to be run, though we should allow for that figure to climb a little higher, say no more than five. By my calculations then, SNSD are looking for approximately 27 to 45 lads to “come out”, “stop complaining” and show them their “wild side”. That’s quite a figure. How many American college football teams does that break down into? (Answers in the comments below, please.)

Here we see Girls’ Generation as modern Korean Maenads, insatiable Bacchae baying for a gangbang. They assert that they have the rapt attention of the boys (and the whole world) that will come out as and when beckoned and then promise to “make ’em feel the heat”. Later, the resultant sexual ecstasy is described in rather transcendent terms with the wonderful line, “the once clogged up future, the once imperceptible future is spreading before your eyes”. I’m as shocked as you are dear reader, to be confronted with the spectacle of these wild women of Korean pop and their otherworldy sexual appetites demanding satisfaction in such a brazen and aggressive fashion and can only advise you to lock your doors in order to resist being “brought out”. However, if you do happen to succumb to these succubi, don’t forget to bring a few friends.

Girls’ Generation/SNSD/소녀시대 – ‘The Boys’

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2 comments

  1. 27-45 lads is one college football team.


  2. Thank you, Ben.

    Team sports are not my forte, not even gangbangs.



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