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Nymphet in the Bud

January 17, 2012

SCHLUCK! That’s the sound of my puncturing the dreadful hymen of bloggers block that formed around these delicate parts since the beginning of the new year. The tumescent cock of inspiration has risen, dear readers, and it is poised to resume plowing away once again!

Last year I set myself the literary goal of reading Nabokov’s Lolita before the end of 2011. I failed, and not even in a spectacular fashion, but in a quiet and rather dull way when the remaining third of the book wasn’t consumed until around one full week into January. I’m hesitant to say much more here about the classic novel without embarking on a side mission of secondary reading and rigorous contemplation beforehand, however, I did want to throw out a wee note in passing. It is said that Vladimir Nabokov coined the term nymphet to describe the girls that his protagonist Humbert Humbert is attracted to and that both that term, and the name of the title, have entered the lexicon thereafter. Now, whilst I can accept that the meaning of these words is now widely understood, is it actually possible to utter them in everyday usage outside of any discussion of Nabokov’s novel?  How exactly could you use the term nymphet, without referring to the book Lolita, given that the term denotes a girl between nine and fourteen years of age that is considered to be enchantingly seductive? If you describe a girl as a nymphet you’re basically saying, “she’s around a median age of 12 and exceedingly fuckable” and even in this liberal age that’s not quite a sentiment one can express in polite company.

You see, it’s Humbert’s word, and he goes out of his way to explain that he’s a perverse and twisted madman. “Nymphet” functions as a kind of apology for his illicit sexual desire, attempting to introduce fairytale notions of female children as irresistible enchantresses.

Now I wish to introduce the following idea. Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travelers, twice or many times older than they, reveal their true nature which is not human, but nymphic (that is, demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose to designate as ‘nymphets.’

Strictly speaking, it’s more than just a poetic byword for a sexually precocious girl, which I suspect is the common understanding. More accurately, it’s an illegitimate word of delusion that proposes to alleviate the burden of guilt on a grown man raping a child by way of suggesting that some intoxicating, magical quality of the victim is causing the powerful sexual desire in the man preying on her. So if you ever see a girl around the age of 12 or 13 walking down the street in a pair of hot pants or denim cut-offs, wearing retro sunglasses and sucking a lollipop, and you remark, “look at that little nymphet, that little Lolita”, there is a definite subtext there of  “and I want to smash that ass and, c’mon, can you blame me?”. The lesson here, kids, is, whenever you encounter fairly new words that have entered the lexicon, check to make sure it isn’t a lofty European paedophile that’s dropped them in there like exquisite candies from a grubby paper bag.

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