Archive for the ‘General giblets’ Category

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Merry Christmas! (And thoughts on the year)

December 24, 2012

In accordance with Mayan prophecy, we are privileged to witness the beginning of the Age of the Fifth Sun, the previous Fourth Sun having completed its great cycle of 26,000 years. It is now an age of expanded consciousness, and of a new emergent human living in harmony with both the earth and the wider cosmic order. It was never foretold to be an apocalypse. That widespread misconception was likely the result of remnants of excitable Judaeo-Christian morbidity lurking in the cluttered parts of the western mind whereby the interpretation of any grand prophecy, even one from well outside the canon of Biblical mythology, was seen only as being the fulfillment of the cataclysmic shitstorm of doom promised by the raging and demented desert god of Testaments old and new.

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Psycho Circus

June 22, 2012

I don’t work in the media, so it may be naive of me to ask this, but surely a report about a man who makes a video recording of himself butchering and dismembering his flatmate, which he then posts online, before sending various body parts to political parties in his native Canada and then fleeing to Europe to spark an international manhunt, is sensational enough? I mean, you don’t really have to spice up a factual story that horrific with additional bullshit in order to make it more attention-grabbing, right?

Luka here, at what I've a-gone and done!

Luka here, at what I’ve a-gone and done!

Luka Rocco Magnotta (born Eric Newman) has been a bad boy. Sometime in late May of this year he killed his roommate, “Justin” Lin Jun, a Chinese student studying in Canada since July 2011. Magnotta repeatedly stabbed the bound, naked Lin with an ice pick and kitchen knife before going on to commit unspecified acts of necrophilia and possibly cannibalism with the body. This was all captured in a video that Magnotta made of the events, entitled “1 Lunatic, 1 Ice Pick”, which he then posted on a delightful sounding website called Bestgore.com. I have not watched this video, and have mainly heard about this story only from morning news broadcasts of BBC World Service, but it was there that I encountered the aggravating detail that inspired this post. In the BBC report, and in subsequent other mainstream media reports I’ve since looked at, it was said that Magnotta’s homemade snuff movie contained a song “from the film American Psycho“, that played in the background as the murderer went about his heinous crime. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any creepier, the real-life psycho listens to a song that is somehow connected to psychos! The subtle implication being, of course, that Luka Magnotta may have been inspired to commit his brutal murder after watching and perhaps becoming obsessed with the unremarkable film from 2000.

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All Quiet On The Gibbering Front

May 31, 2012

Things have been quiet in here lately, folks, and I can’t guarantee that will change in the near future. I have quite a few pressing concerns this year, not least of which is my impending status as a first-time father approximately three months from now, so time set aside for blogging whimsy will likely be reduced for the foreseeable future. That said, there are forthcoming film releases that I’ll simply have to talk about, and there’s always the possibility of those Nork arseholes doing something worthy of some commentary, so sporadic blogging will hopefully continue here and there. If things get desperate, I’ll just bore the ever-loving shite out of all of you with talk of my new baby.

In the meantime, feel free to revisit some past efforts preserved here.

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Shit My Late Grandfather Said

March 7, 2012

(In response to the question, “how are you doing?”)

“Fucking terrible! I don’t know whether my arsehole is punched or bored.”

I’d never heard that magnificent expression before, nor since. The old man was describing the onset of his dementia and it would become one of the last lucid things I heard him say.

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Hogmanay Giblet

December 31, 2011

Can I refer to New Year’s Eve as Hogmanay far beyond the bonnie shores of Caledonia? Let’s assume I can. Mah hoose, mah rules and all that.

For the coming year I hope to write far less about arse-to-mouth horror movies and more about censorship. A friendly, albeit impassioned argument in a pub with a friend a few weeks ago has inspired me to articulate my opposition to censorship more fully and at length. I also hope to get some stuff out about post Kim Jong-il North Korea and return to those lighthearted trips to the K-Pop Korner.

There is of course that impending Mayan Eschaton, End of History thing that we’re all plummeting toward like 7 billion merry crash test dummies. That should be sufficient to light a fire under my lazy arse.

Wishing all of you gibbering loons out there , and your hideous families, a Happy New Year!

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Merry Christmas!

December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas from the Gibberonica.
I hope Santa gave you all a lovely treat from his big red sack!

"You made the list, kid!"

 

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Libya Vida Loca

November 29, 2011

In the 2001 comedy film, Super Troopers, the nefarious Police Chief Grady gloatingly remarks to his rival in the state police, Captain O’Hagan (Brian Cox), “desperation is a stinky cologne”. I personally feel that triumphalism has similarly pungent qualities so I will refrain from indulging in my own feelings following the downfall and grisly demise of the former Libyan dictator, Muammar Gaddafi, and the end of his crime family’s 42-year despotic rule. Instead, I will focus on my bête noire du jour; the conspiracy theories floating around attempting to discredit the foreign intervention that took place in Libya this year.

"They love me all my people!" Yeah, not quite.

Probably the laziest conspiracy theory here would be the idea that NATO intervention in Libya was chiefly about greedy western imperialists trying to get their hands on Libyan oil. This is obviously silly, given Libya’s existing integration into international oil markets. In other words, they already had their hands on that oil and there would be absolutely no reason to endanger ongoing contracts (like the substantial one BP agreed with Libya in 2007 for drilling in the Gulf of Sirte) by embarking on what would be an unnecessary military campaign to topple the despot that they were doing perfectly good business with in the first place. This is further demonstrated by the fact that several European oil companies operating in Libya saw their profits hurt by the revolution there. Moreover, although it is an oil-exporting country, Libya’s oil reserves make up only 2% of world reserves and it is only the fourth largest producer of oil in Africa. Neighbouring Algeria, which also experienced civil unrest during the Arab Spring, produces a great deal more oil than Libya (to say nothing of Nigeria and the largest African producer of oil, Angola). If shadowy western forces were manipulating the UN Security Council and the mass media (and observing human rights NGOs, of course) to demonize and stitch-up a North African dictator then why not go after Algeria’s Abdelaziz Bouteflika instead? Accordingly, this conspiracy theory regarding Libyan oil is widely discredited and seems to have arisen purely from those for whom “no war for oil” has become a default slogan for their reflexive anti-western opinions.

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